Bad Mother = Good Artist

So my delightful son Rainer (who is severely Autistic and who manages to just hurt me enough so people don’t raise eyebrows LOL) took offense to my discipline methods yesterday (yes, it was yesterday – Wednesday). His regular afternoon support worker couldn’t work yesterday, so it was just me and him for a couple of hours until delightful son #1 came home.

Anyways, I said “No” one too many times, he threw a nice chunky train at the back of my head, and well, it kind of went downhill from there. Yes, it did hurt like a mother, yes, he did know exactly what he was doing, yes, he did expect me to chase him. No I didn’t throw it back at him, no, I didn’t chase him. In the end, I turned his computer off and he summarily sent me to the Studio for being the Bad Mother.

Oh dear!!!! What horror!!!! THE STUDIO!!!!!!!

Luckily, I could see him watching TV through my beautiful lead-light studio doors, while I considered what I should do during my Internment.

And there it was before me…..
Notes on some new classes for later in the year and basic sketches for a new exhibition in November. So I considered it for a while…..

  • what if he wanted me to come out just as I began?
  • what if he cracked it if it looked like I was having too much fun?
  • what if I got too involved in the process and didn’t notice that he either set a toy on fire (again) or ran out of the house and down the road (again)?

I decided that those 3 questions could all be answered with “So?” and if he did do any of those things I knew exactly how to deal with it because he’s been doing it for nearly 11 years….and for once I gave myself a pat on the back for being an incredible mother and for once I seriously deserved some “ME” time.

So in about 90 minutes, I did this…..

c. giovanna scott

c. giovanna scott

c. giovanna scott

c. giovanna scott

c. giovanna scott

c. giovanna scott

c. giovanna scott

c. giovanna scott

I’ve been thinking about Motherhood. The “Daughter I Never Had”, has been appearing in dreams recently. She is gorgeous, her name is Nicola (derived from my maternal grandmother’s maiden name), she is so intelligent and sweet and sassy – and she loves her brothers and they love her back. So I need to get this out of my system. I need to paint images of me carrying her with me everywhere, doing everything and being all that I haven’t done.

Right…enough soppy stuff!!!
Have a super creative week my lovelies!!

xx Giovanna

Mother’s Day Moments

cards displayed copy
I’ve made some lovely Mother’s Day cards and a couple of mini canvas panels in honour of Mother’s Day (or any day really) that are now available in my Etsy shop HERE

But the journey to my very FIRST Mother’s Day series was the result of a long and challenging journey that I hope you’ll read ahead to. Maybe you’ll learn something more personal about me, and perhaps you’ll recognise some of these moments in your own life.

My Mum and Nonna are 2 of the greatest women I know.

My Nonna

My Nonna

My Nonna passed away in 1999, shortly after my Wedding which she was too ill to attend. She was humorous, cheeky and haunted. She came from Italy in 1958, already a Widow, with 4 of her 5 remaining children, on the promise by her oldest son that when things improved financially, they would all return.

He never, ever honoured that promise. So my Nonna never bothered to learn English, make any of her own friends or drive a car, because she held onto the promise of returning to her family home, fix the damage done by the Germans in World War 2, and go back to her life.

She taught me that even though your are in pain, you can smile, you can love and you can be the most delightful, funny person you can be. Despite your frustrations, you must carry on, love your family, keep them safe and love them unconditionally.

collaged hearts

collaged hearts

Nonna had a wonderful intuition. She planted by phases of the moon, brought some traditional Italian backyard practices to Australia and always, ALWAYS cooked amazing food without consulting a cookbook. Even though she was illiterate, you would never have known because she was also extremely intelligent.

NOW I AM A MOTHER and in some ways I feel our lives have mirrored.

My handsome boys

My handsome boys

I have faced my own demons through Rainer’s Autism diagnosis and challenged working through (not with, THROUGH) a Health Department that has no treatment path for these kids and adults.

with Rainer

with Rainer

A husband that worked long hours and overseas. For 2 years we saw him 2 weeks out of 4, which made me feel like a Widow and honestly some of the darkest days of my life. The promise that some day, someone would find a magic bullet to cure Autism and that life would get better.

with Hubby 2010

with Hubby 2010

Which brings me (in a very roundabout way) to Mother’s Day.

I never really enjoyed Mother’s Day as a Mother until recently.

Mother's Day 2009

Mother’s Day 2009


I avoided it. It felt contrived and forced and as a bit of an annoyance. Rainer was out of control. Hubby was pre-occupied with work (or not in the country at all), my oldest son Mackinley tried very hard to get some quality time with me, which was mostly hijacked by Rainer.

But that’s all changed.

Mum now has boundaries (yay). Mackinley and Rainer can play together without drawing blood or it escalating into a Rainer Meltdown Defcon 3. Hubby isn’t traveling or pre-occupied with work that didn’t care if they drew every last drop of humanity from him.

Some of the things I wished for, are becoming a reality.

Detail of canvas panel

Detail of canvas panel

So now I’m looking forward to my first REAL, relaxed Mother’s Day. I think that’s reflected in the Mother’s Day Collection. There is more joy in the palette, more peace in the intentions and a general sense of well being. Despite the baggage I had to clear while making this collection, I feel I’ve come through it a better, stronger Artist and Mother … a maturing!

Congratulations for reading this far. It’s quite an epic tale that I’ve only lightly recounted. My Nonna was a brave and strong woman who I believe absolutely loves what I’m doing. My Nonno was quite the Renaissance Man and loved painting and drawing on the walls in their home.

My Nonno : a true Renaissance Man

My Nonno : a true Renaissance Man

My Mother deserves a post all to herself.

Spread the love around with the cards. They’re good for any occasion, not just Mother’s Day – that was the intention. You don’t need one day to tell someone how much they mean to you.

Detail of canvas panel

Detail of canvas panel


xxGiovanna