I wish I was one of those Artists who can simply respond to their Muse/Calling/Mojo when it strikes. Trying to negotiate a family during school holidays, all the while acknowledging but not responding to that call, is mighty difficult and a tiny bit cruel.
I tried to satisfy myself with practicing my drawing skills, dipping back into Jane Davenport’s “Supplies Me” online lessons, which really calmed that urge.
I love the progress I’ve made in a week of just sitting by the TV or the kids and exploring my skills, and being aware of how my hand moves over the paper and through a face, using the colours I have on hand to create shade and depth.
While there is much more to learn about the human form, I honestly feel as though I’ve moved into a new sphere of artistic awareness.
After being away from the Studio for such a long time, I felt like I’d broken some pact or relationship built on a promise. I had to nurture that again and give it some attention before I felt like I could move into that space again.
So I set about moving the furniture and clearing out a mountain of magazines and items I was holding onto,
because I was holding onto my past. No burning Sage, no crazy incantations, no wild affirmations either – just me … LETTING GO.
In effect, I was taking charge of my life and my space again.
The long narrow Studio means I can easily push all my arty-work stuff to one end, leaving the other for the rocking chair and some reference books.
The transition space houses my easel and room for a table when I’m ready to invite other creatives into my home.
It feels great!!
And I gave myself permission to be there. I showered, did my hair and make-up, got dressed in comfortable Arty gear and went to WORK. No internet, no distractions by family, no phone calls……just me and the music and the Art.
It was great!!
It’s not easy for me to let go of control….the house, kids, and more emotional stuff, but I knew that I’d been given an opportunity – a real opportunity – by hubby, to allow myself to be in the Studio and forget about what lies outside that door.
Now I know how to ask for permission of myself and from others. I don’t have to control the flow of chores in the house. Hubby is a very capable father, husband, food preparer and child distractor and I needed to give him more credit for that and allow him to do it his way.
It felt great!!
The relief, the sense of calm, the letting go, the taking charge and the overall reclamation of my own being is energising. I know what I need to do now, and it will be GREAT!