Do you feel sometimes that you are being tested beyond your limits?
Do you feel like the proverbial bird is constantly overhead, shitting on everything you think and feel and attempt to get off the ground?
I did imagine that when we moved house and they boys were both in full-time schooling, that things would finally FINALLY start to fall into place.
It was imaginary.
And while Rainer and Mackinley have both settled beautifully into school this year, I feel like my plans and life are being thrown into the tumble dryer of chaos.
Since the car accident, Mummy hasn’t been at her best. Constantly in pain and fear that something terrible would happen (I think that paranoia was from the meds) turned me into a walking zombie and I really wasn’t the best company.
Fast forward 4 weeks and I can’t feel at peace. One thing I HAVE realised is that I can’t “wait” for things to happen. If I really want something, I need to be courageous, take the first step and don’t look back.
So, I’ve looked at many online courses run by creative people I admire; who had that lingering fear to take a bold step but when they finally did…it was MAGICAL. I have dusted off Kelly Rae Roberts’ book “Taking Flight” (which I bought way back in 2008) and am meticulously working through my WHISPERS and journaling like a mad woman (and once again stalking her blog).
Perhaps a clue will reveal itself.
Perhaps nothing will come of it.
Perhaps I will end up with a lot of pages of the rantings of a crazed lunatic.
Perhaps I will learn who I am supposed to be.
Until then, there is not much creative work happening but I am getting out and reconnecting with people in my life which is awesome.
Until then, you will just have to keep looking for me in upcoming issues of Scrapbook Creations.
Until then, I will share bits of my life on Facebook (the instant gratification is too addictive LOL).
I am not going away….just resting from the testing; finding my self; finding my purpose; listening to whispers; reconnecting with my friends; nurturing my family.